The Bard’s Tale (GOG)

A wisecracking Celtic rogue carries this action-RPG through a fantasy realm packed with taverns, haunted ruins, snowbound paths, and dungeons full of creatures that would rather kill him than hear another lute tune. The Bard’s Tale trades solemn chosen-one melodrama for sarcastic narration, bawdy jokes, and a hero whose priorities usually involve money, ale, and flirting. Beneath the comedy sits a lengthy adventure in which an initially selfish musician gets tangled in a larger threat. Cary Elwes gives the Bard a wonderfully smug performance, while the narrator constantly comments on — and occasionally argues with — the player’s choices.

Combat plays as a straightforward third-person hack-and-slash system, with sword strikes, ranged options, defensive moves, and magical songs used to control the battlefield. Each song calls a different supernatural companion, from hard-hitting fighters to useful support creatures, so choosing the right summon matters as enemy groups become larger and nastier. Exploration sends you through varied regions, towns, towers, forests, tombs, caverns, and secret-filled interiors while collecting weapons, armor, instruments, artifacts, and other loot. The central campaign runs for dozens of hours, and the package also includes the original Bard’s Tale trilogy: classic first-person, grid-based dungeon crawlers with party management, mapping, and far less hand-holding.

Its greatest strength is commitment to the joke without reducing the world to a throwaway parody. Dialogue choices can lean toward charming, aggressive, or sarcastic responses, giving scenes a little personality even when they still arrive at the same broad destination, while musical numbers and absurd encounters keep the tone unpredictable. The 2004 adventure feels dated in places, particularly in combat repetition and its old-school presentation, but its humor, voice work, and summon-focused fighting still give it a character few fantasy RPGs match. Fans of Fable, early action RPGs, and irreverent comedy will find plenty to enjoy, while retro enthusiasts get three demanding classics alongside the modernized adventure.